Eight days ago, I made the decision to relieve my Sasha of her suffering here on earth.
I have been overwhelmed with grief, and even though I know she's in a better place, I cannot stop feeling guilty. The guilt doesn't stem from making the wrong choice, but rather in thinking that I let her linger in pain for much too long. Even now, I know that she probably could have, would have lived another year. She was such a good dog. This has been one of the worst weeks of my life.
There hasn't been one day since last Monday that I haven't cried.
This photo was taken just 30 minutes prior to the vet coming to the house.
I had been crying all day.
Sasha was more than just a dog to me. You see, I never had kids of my own so I considered her my baby.
It's always just been me, Justin and Sasha. Our little family.
Sasha's been to almost as many states as I have.
She's gone on every single vacation with us except for three.
I have a foot locker full of photos and last night I spent a couple of hours going through them searching for pictures of a healthy, vibrant and happy Sasha.
There are so many stories I want to share because remembering those times makes me feel good.
But for now, I just want you all to know, that I will be back soon.
I just need a little time to mourn my loss.
And then I will bombard you with pictures of Sasha, like when she tried climbing a tree chasing a cat.
Awww JarieLyn, don't feel guilty. Sasha was loved more than most dogs. She wasn't just a pet to you, she was your child.
ReplyDeleteIt's normal human nature to want to keep those we love with us as long as possible. But even though you knew Sasha could be with you for another year or so you were brave and thought first about what was best for Sasha.
But grieve because that's normal. We only grieve when we truly love someone. Can't wait to see those pictures and hear all those stories. Hugs my friend :)
Oh sweetie.. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a pet. Please, please don't be hard on yourself about the timing. Celebrate all the very many times you were the perfect person for Sasha. From beginning to end. "If" you erred on the side of wanting to keep her in your life a bit longer, Sasha probably loved you for that too.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you.
I know how special she was to you and I am so very sorry. I know no words can take away the pain you are feeling but please know I understand for I too consider my dogs my kids.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry. The loss of a pet can be devastating. 2 years ago I lost Delilah, my cat that I had for 15 years. About 2 weeks later, I lost my dog, Marley. Delilah was much more difficult than Marley. I will never have another house cat. I now have another dog, Teddy K, and he looks for the world like your Sasha. I will be thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss!
ReplyDeleteMay Sasha rest in peace!
The good memories you've got of her will perhaps alleviate your grief and ultimately help you get over it.
Only just catching up on people's posts so I'm a but late commenting but that makes it no less sincere when I say so sorry for your loss. Most folk without pets don't realise how much their loss can affect people. But try not to feel guilty. I'm sure you got the timing just right - it's one of those things that you will all have known between you.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you have photos of Sasha and of happy memories.
ReplyDeleteWe made our Molly's footprint into a tree ornament. I do have a sad moment when I pull it out at Christmas, its going on 3. But I like to be reminded of her sweetness. I'm sorry for you.
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