Sunday, March 7, 2010

Remembrance of Another

Randy was one of my very best friends.

I knew him for over twenty years.

He and my best friend Jennifer had  a son together.

The photo above was taken in 2005 by my husband.

I thought I was ready to tell Randy's whole story and what led up to his suicide

but I guess I'm not ready to tell the world even though I have talked about it to others.

The following is only part of the story.

Randy was in town with his dad and his son and My husband and I picked Randy up and took him out for drinks.  He stayed the night at our house and during his visit he took me outside and told me something in confidence. Randy sent me this card shortly after that night.

He was such a wonderful and generous person, always thinking of others.

Every Monday night we would talk on the phone while the TV show, Prison Break was on

and we would discuss the plot and the characters, etc. 

We both loved that show.

Randy was a phenomenal drummer, a gifted artist, a skilled carpenter and a business owner.

He wasn't the greatest speller, but that doesn't matter.

He trusted every one he came in contact with and befriended them as well.

He was loyal and funny.

But most of all he loved his boy, Tyler.

He was a really great dad.

Just a few days before his suicide,
he had called me and told me that he had come close to killing himself a few days before.

If it hadn't been for Jennifer calling him at that very moment
he would have drowned himself in the tub.

We talked for a long time on the phone and I was so worried about him.
He thanked me for being such a great friend and that I had really helped him.

But my instincts kicked in.

I called my friend Cari, who just happened to be in Bakersfield visiting her mom
and begged her to go to Randy's house because I was afraid he was going to do something.

She went.  And all was well.  On that night anyway.

Four days later I got the news.

My mom called me at my office and when I heard I just broke down.

I was so sad but I was also very mad at him.

He killed himself the night before his son's high school graduation.

My best friend Jennifer really took it hard.

Randy was her first love, the father of her son.

Tyler, bless his heart walked across the stage and got his diploma with his head held high.

Randy was in a lot of emotional pain and it was too much for him to handle.

I have accepted that he wasn't thinking becuase if he was, he never would have left Tyler like he did.

Randy, Tyler and Jennifer circa 1989

Randy and JarieLyn circa 2005

I miss my friend's laughter.


  1. I can really say nothing to ease your pain. I am sure you still feel that you should have been able to do something. Such a waste of a good life and all we are left with is the memories.

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss, JarieLynn. It's such a shame that he was not able to find a positive way out of his misery. Take comfort in knowing that you were a very good friend to him and that you were there when he wanted to talk. Hugs to you.

  3. Sometimes this world is too harsh for the most sensitive of souls. It is truly tragic that he endured enough pain within himself to not be able to see the effect his death would have on his loved ones. The path ahead for his family and friends will be long, indeed.

  4. I'm so sorry JarieLyn, that you lost such a good friend. You listened, you cared, you loved. Sometimes it isn't enough and sometimes it is, all we can do is try and listen, like you did...with your heart.

  5. how did I miss this last week. it is beautiful and perfect. it brings tears to my eyes, the waste is tremendous isn't it? we cant be there every momemnt, of all our friends lives, to try to keep them from harm. I am sorry for your loss.



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